Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Good-bye Jablonskistrasse?

After a series of events we have ended up staying in the apartment that was supposed to last for one week for over 3 months. That may have come to an end. Our dancer/landlord wants to return to Israel and have us stay in the apartment until June (Great!), but the dance contract she was relying on in Israel conflicted with a tour she was already doing in Singapore so she lost that job- hence she would be jobless in Israel and without income.

The short of it- we have a week till we know for sure, but we are currently looking at apartments to take us into June. schnikey! We like it here. Oh well, onward and upward right?
In better news, I (ebe) may be writing for an on-line travel mag about LA of all places! Anything to keep us afloat, but if the job works out it may be perfect. Write from home, enough $, and good credentials for the future. Wish me luck...I have a feeling we are going to need it.

In much much lighter news we stumbled across this site about American women dating men of different European nationalities that we found quite amusing (not so of everybody- make sure to check out the hate mail at the bottom of each list). There is an especially humorous section on Germans from which we will share a bit:

"Germans are an uptight breed and they have a rule for every occasion. When there aren't any rules to follow, they're happy to make up a few. If you're surrounded by Germans, you're likely to hear the phrase, "Noooo, it is not possible," repeated several times. Many things are impossible in Germany. It is impossible to change plans after they've been made, to make funny jokes, to smile at a stranger, to help an old lady across the street, to prop your feet on an empty seat in the train, and a variety of random things you normally wouldn't think twice about doing.

What You Should Know about Germany
A German man will know many gory details about your country. In fact, he can probably name more American state capitals than the majority of Americans. He'll assume you know basic history (Everyone in his country does), so to stop from coming across as a moron, try to fake your way around things you're unfamiliar with.

Then there's the rudeness factor. Somehow an entire culture of parents neglected to teach their children how to be polite. We've held many doors open for German girls without a thank you or even a smile; most girls didn't acknowledge that we were holding the door. Yeah, bitch, I have a door in my hand because it's fun.

When You Want Him to Go Away
If you want to give a German guy the cold shoulder, good luck. If you think his sense of humor sucks, wait until you see his people reading skills. He's used to dealing with practical, direct Germans so he's not going to pick up on your desperate subtleties. If you pull the, "I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom" stunt, you'll find him waiting outside the ladies room. If you try the bathroom trick eight times in one night he'll think you have a small bladder. When you come out and see him waiting for you, pretend not to know him. When he aproaches, look very confused. In your choppiest English say, "I speak no German. I speak no English. I speak only Swahili." The instant he's thoroughly confused, make your break. Note that it's important to say Swahili. If you name any other language, Germans are likely to speak it or know someone who does. You don't want Wolfgang phoning his good friend Fritz to come translate all night.

Direct can be hard for a sweet American girl who's afraid of hurting other people's feelings, but you need to learn. Just tell him you're not interested. If necessary, tell him again and again and again. Don't say: "I'm no good at long distance relationships, so I don't think this is possible." He'll try all night to convince you it's the only thing in Germany that is possible. No excuses, be direct. "

So there you have it from a couple of not very nice American girls- How to Date A German in Europe and Leave Him There. For other scathing reviews of European men check out:

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We're Back in Berlin Ja!

We're Back in Berlin Ja!
ebe & ian at Yak-toberfest 2008